Your tits are I can't wait for
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
