I wish you could order shots online.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
