we have pet lesbian snakes
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dear god my vagina.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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