as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
