never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
