question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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