apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
