just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
