Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I want to make a zoo with you.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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