Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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