I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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