I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
