happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
