you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
