Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
