Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
