Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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