This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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