I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
