That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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