Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
