I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
