oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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