are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
