the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
