You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
