It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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