i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
