if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
