So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
