That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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