I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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