come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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