I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
what day is it and did you see me today?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
