I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
