Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
