its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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