Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
