This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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