At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
