WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
