I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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