I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
