the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
