yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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