no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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