Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize