dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
