He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
