she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
