woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
