Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
